Engelsmän är alltid så artiga, även när de inte är artiga.
Så här lät det på tunnelbanan imorse när tågföraren vid Paddington Station tog till orda i mikrofonen.
Obs: läses med överdriven engelsk accent för att skapa den rätta stämningen.
Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I hope this morning will be the beginning of a marvelous day for you.
Ladies and gentlemen, you know those really selfish people who push themselves on to the trains even though it’s full. The types that are not strangers to use their umbrella or even briefcase to shove you away so they can get on board themselves. Well ladies and gentlemen, we have one of those on this very train at this particular moment in time.
This rather egoistic chap or madam is now causing this train to a halt due to the simple fact that the egoist is pushing and leaning against a door which makes the train incapable of moving. Yes indeed dear fellow passengers, this is the unfortunate fact we are now facing. It would be highly appreciated if Mr or Mrs Selfish could get off the train when I now open the doors.
Thank you for your cooperation. Jolly decent of you and, may I add, much appreciated by me and everyone else on this train. Now have a tremendous remainder of the day all of you… almost.